The Top 3 Most Unintentional Dates I’ve Ever Been On
It happens to a lot of women. Especially when you’re young and friendly. A guy asks you to “hang out” and you assume it’s just as friends which it rarely ever is. You would have thought it would be obvious. It wasn’t. I was young and naive. The following are stories of the dates I never meant to go on from my early 20s.
The Former TA
I was working as a ketchup stand wiper at a major sporting event when I was 20. I was getting hit on by a lot of drunk fans. What I didn’t expect though was that my former teacher’s assistant from my Theater program was working on some backstage stuff at this event. When he passed me he just said, “Hello” and didn’t say much else at first because he was busy. Time went by and this big drunk guy wanted his picture taken with me. Then my former TA came back when it was toward the end of the game.
He quickly asked for my number and said we could “hang out” sometime. I gave it to him innocently thinking that we could catch up on our time at the university. Little did I know what his intentions were. First of all, he sets up the time later in the evening which should’ve been my first hint. Secondly, I got to the restaurant and it was super beautiful. Then finally he arrived and started commenting on how beautiful I am, etc.
Needlessly to say it was weird. But at least I got free food.
2. The Man that Could Never Take a Hint that had I Had Given Pity On…As a Friend
I should have asserted myself better but didn’t. Unfortunately this man was super lonely. I agreed to hang out with him at the mall because I thought it was just going to be as friends. Needless to say he started telling everyone it was a date and shortly after I actually started dating another guy that he knew.
3. The Security Guy at My Doctor’s Office.
So whether or not this was a date or not is questionable. In any event it was highly inappropriate and should never have happened. I was attending a psychosis recovery program and in the office of the program they had a security guy working there in case any emergencies happened. I remember meeting him and thought he was cute. One day he followed me to the mall cafeteria across the street and I didn’t mind because he was cute. This happened repeatedly and because of it he got moved to a different location. Were these dates? I don’t know. And I’ve never seen him since.
An Anonymous Reader Spills the Tea: My Date Who Bragged About Seeing His Sister’s Boobs
“I was chatting to a guy on a dating app and he was telling me about how he spent his weekend. Firstly, his sister was having a divorce party at his place and I suppose she didn’t have her swimsuit with her. She jumped into the pool topless. Then he made a disgusting comment about how “that was the first time I had seen boobs in a while”. I quickly told him, “But that’s your sister’s boobs!”. And he responded that it was “better than nothing”.
I then tried winding down the conversation but he went on to tell me that his sister knit him a “boob hat” i.e. a hat that looked like a boob with a nipple on top and everything. They had done a photo shoot together with the hat. With no hesitation in my mind, I unmatched him immediately after this conversation.
Missed Connection: The Missouri Man In Line at the Texas Airport
I had never developed a crush so quickly. There I was in line to go through security at the Austin Airport in Texas. To my delight, a tall, muscular man with a military-style haircut and sunglasses passes by me in another section behind me in the lineup. He smiles and in a hot Southern accent says, “Where you off to today Ma’am?” and I respond with “Toronto, Canada”. Then he said he was going to St. Louis, Missouri. But then before we could truly connect, his section of the line got redirected to another gate.
I had a few hours to explore the airport before catching my flight. I was hoping I’d run into him again but the airport was super busy. By the time I saw him, he had been late and was the last person to board his plane to Missouri. To be honest it’s weird that I still remember this. But I don’t usually develop crushes quickly so maybe there was something special about him after all.
Neighbourly Nightmare: 2 Neighbours I had Previously Hooked-Up With Met at a Party.
Me in Toronto at around the time of the party.
“Oh no! I slept with both of them! And now they’re meeting each other and sharing cigarettes!” I thought to myself as the 2 men shared smokes in a brotherly moment. They had both seen me naked…what if they were to find out? What if they were to compare me in bed? What if one or both of them were to approach me about the fact that they had known about me hooking up with the other neighbour who lived in the same 40-floor luxury condo tower in downtown Toronto?
And then the solution was simple. A few days before writing this article I posted an IG poll asking my IG story viewers what would they do in the same situation. Almost everyone voted to do exactly what I did which was to ignore both of them but still stay at the party. Which is probably the safest thing to do. Because at the end of the day, maybe they’ll never know. And even if they do find out? So what? Worrying about something that momentarily seems like a big deal but isn’t really is not a behavour that serves your well-being.
I never came to this realization for situations like these until I received Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). It’s great for people like me who get anxiety among many other mental health conditions. Hell, I’d even recommend it for people who’ve never been diagnosed with any mental health conditions. It looks at a bunch of possibilities regarding the situation in different scenarios as well as observing any thought distortions you may have. Honestly, whoever is reading this, I cannot recommend it enough. Look for psychologists in your area who are certified to teach it. It is life-changing.
Moral of this story? CBT is great. Also, don’t hook up with more than 1 neighbour unless you are prepared to deal with the consequences.
Single? Try Going on Solo-Date by Yourself. Here are 10 Self-Loving Solo-Date Ideas to go Alone
Why wait for a date to start doing the stuff you love? Besides which, going on a date by yourself is good self-care. But I don’t just mean the taking a bubble bath, going to the salon or going to the gym type of self care. I literally mean go to the movies alone, cook a romantic gourmet dinner alone or go to that arcade you’ve always wanted to go to but all of your friends are introverts who don’t like the hustle and bustle of that arcade.
Solo dates are a great way to treat yourself and I personally believe they make you less likely to lower your standards in partners out of loneliness and wanting someone to do fun activities with. So without too much further scrolling, here are 10 solo date ideas that you can use for a romantic evening alone!
1. Go Out to the Movies
Since watching a movie isn’t really a social activity anyway unless you want to annoy other people in the movie theatre by talking during the movie. This makes it great for solo-dates!
2. Buy Yourself a Bouquet of Flowers
I’ve always wanted a man to buy me flowers so on Valentines Day or any solo date I go on by myself I like to buy myself roses!
3. Cook Yourself a Romantic Gourmet 3 Course Dinner
You’ll probably have lots of leftovers but it makes for a nice solo-date. You can even pull out the fancy dinnerware to treat yourself!
4. Go to an Arcade Solo
In my city I am lucky because there’s an arcade that is adults only after 10pm on Friday nights. Not that I don’t like children I just don’t want them screaming in my ears while I’m doing a solo date. If you live in a city that doesn’t have arcades with adult time, try going when most of the children are either in school or sleeping!
5. Do a Solo Picnic
This would be great as an accompanied date but it can also work as a solo date.
6. Take a Puppy Yoga or Goat Yoga Class
Where I live you can do yoga classes n the presence of puppies or goats. There will be other people there but if you don’t mind that this can be great.
7. Go on a Solo Hike
Okay so I’m not really a fan of exercise or the outdoors necessarily with a few exceptions. However if this does float your boat, give it a try!
8. Treat Yourself to a Full Spa Day
So I’ve never actually done this because of my budget and having other priorities but while brainstorming for this list I really want to do it now! Imagine, getting a massage, drinking delicious champagne, floating in those salt pool thingies AND spending time in a sauna? Sounds like I really need to try this one too!
9. Build a Fort Out of Pillows and Blankets in Your Living Room and Decorate it with Fairy Lights
Why leave all the fun to the children? You can even eat snacks and watch a movie in your fort too!
10. Paint Pottery at a Pottery Painting Studio
You go in and choose the pre-made porcelain item that you want to paint. You paint it then they put it in a kiln and you pick it up on a later date! This can be a great activity to share with a date or do on a solo date!
Funny Moment: Turning the Tables on My Jackass of a Date in London, England
"HE WAS ON A FAMOUS BRITSH SOAP OPERA!" I thought to myself as I dug though the info on his Tinder profile. It was a well-written profile, he was decent looking, an actor and of course he was British too. We planned to meet at a pub in Camden Town, one of London's North East neighbourhoods and the home to punk rock music. Everything that night went fine and we even hooked up but it wasn't until I returned to London that a whole lot of crazy had happened.
I was a 27-year-old Canadian woman visiting London alone. I figured it would be fun to go on a Tinder date in a foreign country. Besides getting a free tour guide, this in itself would be an adventure! I thought I had struck gold when this British actor who played a villain on a British soap opera swiped right on my profile and started messaging me. But I didn't strike gold. I stuck a whole lot of nasty in this guy. I figure the reason he was cast as a villain in the show is because in the real world he actually is a villain.
So we went on a date and hooked up. Everything seemed normal. That was in April 2019. I left for Canada but we had added each other on Facebook. We didn't really keep in touch during the time between April and October that year. I went back to London in October. When I had messaged him in October asking if he wanted to meet up, I was shocked by his reply.
Out of absolutely NOWHERE he sends me these rude and nasty voice messages and written messages over Messenger. He was all upset and blaming me for not keeping in touch with him over the last few months and for not contacting him and keeping him higher on my list of priorities when I had arrived back in London.
Now, I had low self-esteem at this point so I even offered to pay to go bowling with him because he was broke. But luckily I had a good dating coach who had put me in the right direction and snapped common sense back into me. I canceled the date. He went psycho over messages so I blocked him. Definitely not worth my time!
I visited London again in 2021, you may have already seen my posts about the luxury hotel I loved there. Well one night, after befriending the staff and shelling out the cash to stay 1 night there, I went to the pool area. Guess who was working as the towel boy there?
This didn't bother me at all in fact I believe I had already befriended his boss. We said nothing to each other. But for me the tables had turned perfectly because it was his job to serve me at that point and he was the one at fault. It didn't even ruin my experience at that hotel because I was having too much fun. The perfect alignment!