Neighbourly Nightmare: 2 Neighbours I had Previously Hooked-Up With Met at a Party.

Me in Toronto at around the time of the party.

“Oh no! I slept with both of them! And now they’re meeting each other and sharing cigarettes!” I thought to myself as the 2 men shared smokes in a brotherly moment. They had both seen me naked…what if they were to find out? What if they were to compare me in bed? What if one or both of them were to approach me about the fact that they had known about me hooking up with the other neighbour who lived in the same 40-floor luxury condo tower in downtown Toronto?

And then the solution was simple. A few days before writing this article I posted an IG poll asking my IG story viewers what would they do in the same situation. Almost everyone voted to do exactly what I did which was to ignore both of them but still stay at the party. Which is probably the safest thing to do. Because at the end of the day, maybe they’ll never know. And even if they do find out? So what? Worrying about something that momentarily seems like a big deal but isn’t really is not a behavour that serves your well-being.

I never came to this realization for situations like these until I received Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). It’s great for people like me who get anxiety among many other mental health conditions. Hell, I’d even recommend it for people who’ve never been diagnosed with any mental health conditions. It looks at a bunch of possibilities regarding the situation in different scenarios as well as observing any thought distortions you may have. Honestly, whoever is reading this, I cannot recommend it enough. Look for psychologists in your area who are certified to teach it. It is life-changing.

Moral of this story? CBT is great. Also, don’t hook up with more than 1 neighbour unless you are prepared to deal with the consequences.

Single? Try Going on Solo-Date by Yourself. Here are 10 Self-Loving Solo-Date Ideas to go Alone

Why wait for a date to start doing the stuff you love? Besides which, going on a date by yourself is good self-care. But I don’t just mean the taking a bubble bath, going to the salon or going to the gym type of self care. I literally mean go to the movies alone, cook a romantic gourmet dinner alone or go to that arcade you’ve always wanted to go to but all of your friends are introverts who don’t like the hustle and bustle of that arcade.

Solo dates are a great way to treat yourself and I personally believe they make you less likely to lower your standards in partners out of loneliness and wanting someone to do fun activities with. So without too much further scrolling, here are 10 solo date ideas that you can use for a romantic evening alone!

1. Go Out to the Movies

Since watching a movie isn’t really a social activity anyway unless you want to annoy other people in the movie theatre by talking during the movie. This makes it great for solo-dates!

2. Buy Yourself a Bouquet of Flowers

I’ve always wanted a man to buy me flowers so on Valentines Day or any solo date I go on by myself I like to buy myself roses!

3. Cook Yourself a Romantic Gourmet 3 Course Dinner

You’ll probably have lots of leftovers but it makes for a nice solo-date. You can even pull out the fancy dinnerware to treat yourself!

4. Go to an Arcade Solo

In my city I am lucky because there’s an arcade that is adults only after 10pm on Friday nights. Not that I don’t like children I just don’t want them screaming in my ears while I’m doing a solo date. If you live in a city that doesn’t have arcades with adult time, try going when most of the children are either in school or sleeping!

5. Do a Solo Picnic

This would be great as an accompanied date but it can also work as a solo date.

6. Take a Puppy Yoga or Goat Yoga Class

Where I live you can do yoga classes n the presence of puppies or goats. There will be other people there but if you don’t mind that this can be great.

7. Go on a Solo Hike

Okay so I’m not really a fan of exercise or the outdoors necessarily with a few exceptions. However if this does float your boat, give it a try!

8. Treat Yourself to a Full Spa Day

So I’ve never actually done this because of my budget and having other priorities but while brainstorming for this list I really want to do it now! Imagine, getting a massage, drinking delicious champagne, floating in those salt pool thingies AND spending time in a sauna? Sounds like I really need to try this one too!

9. Build a Fort Out of Pillows and Blankets in Your Living Room and Decorate it with Fairy Lights

Why leave all the fun to the children? You can even eat snacks and watch a movie in your fort too!

10. Paint Pottery at a Pottery Painting Studio

You go in and choose the pre-made porcelain item that you want to paint. You paint it then they put it in a kiln and you pick it up on a later date! This can be a great activity to share with a date or do on a solo date!

Funny Moment: Turning the Tables on My Jackass of a Date in London, England

"HE WAS ON A FAMOUS BRITSH SOAP OPERA!" I thought to myself as I dug though the info on his Tinder profile. It was a well-written profile, he was decent looking, an actor and of course he was British too. We planned to meet at a pub in Camden Town, one of London's North East neighbourhoods and the home to punk rock music. Everything that night went fine and we even hooked up but it wasn't until I returned to London that a whole lot of crazy had happened.

I was a 27-year-old Canadian woman visiting London alone. I figured it would be fun to go on a Tinder date in a foreign country. Besides getting a free tour guide, this in itself would be an adventure! I thought I had struck gold when this British actor who played a villain on a British soap opera swiped right on my profile and started messaging me. But I didn't strike gold. I stuck a whole lot of nasty in this guy. I figure the reason he was cast as a villain in the show is because in the real world he actually is a villain.

So we went on a date and hooked up. Everything seemed normal. That was in April 2019. I left for Canada but we had added each other on Facebook. We didn't really keep in touch during the time between April and October that year. I went back to London in October. When I had messaged him in October asking if he wanted to meet up, I was shocked by his reply.

Out of absolutely NOWHERE he sends me these rude and nasty voice messages and written messages over Messenger. He was all upset and blaming me for not keeping in touch with him over the last few months and for not contacting him and keeping him higher on my list of priorities when I had arrived back in London.

Now, I had low self-esteem at this point so I even offered to pay to go bowling with him because he was broke. But luckily I had a good dating coach who had put me in the right direction and snapped common sense back into me. I canceled the date. He went psycho over messages so I blocked him. Definitely not worth my time!

I visited London again in 2021, you may have already seen my posts about the luxury hotel I loved there. Well one night, after befriending the staff and shelling out the cash to stay 1 night there, I went to the pool area. Guess who was working as the towel boy there?

This didn't bother me at all in fact I believe I had already befriended his boss. We said nothing to each other. But for me the tables had turned perfectly because it was his job to serve me at that point and he was the one at fault. It didn't even ruin my experience at that hotel because I was having too much fun. The perfect alignment!